


Aria

by KaCole



Series: Voyager Fictober2018 [14]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: AU maybe, Domestic, F/M, Family, Fluff, Kissing, Mystery, Not Beta Read, Romance, Space mom and Dad, a bit sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaCole/pseuds/KaCole
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay find themselves in a strange new world. The only problem is, they like it too much.Kathryn sighed. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”“Every day. But I'm always happy to hear it again.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a response to the Fictober prompt, "Remember, you have to remember"

Kathryn woke slowly, with a blur of colours and soft sounds all around her. A wave of fear rolled towards her, but it didn't take hold, it just drifted past and left her calm in its wake. What could possibly be wrong in the hazy warmth of her own bed?

The sun was streaming through a gap in the curtains. The light refracted through the stained glass panel her husband had fitted the day they moved in, making a kaleidoscope of colours shift and whirl on the bed sheets.

Perhaps she'd just close her eyes and drift in this perfect moment a while longer.

Kathryn heard sounds from downstairs. The coffee maker brewing. Two voices chattering, one high, one deep. The entertainment system fired up and then the voices fell silent. Footsteps on the stairs.

The door creaked open. She smelled coffee as her husband padded across the room with a cup of the finest substance in creation in each hand.

She sat up, smiling. “Good morning.”

He kissed her on the cheek and passed her the coffee. “Good morning to you.”

“Coffee in bed? What have I done to deserve this?”

“Do you realise it's a year today you were elected Mayor?”

Kathryn sipped from her cup, and then said, “That's shocking, if it's true. Is it true?”

“Oh yes. And do you want to know something else?” He took off his robe and sat on the bed beside her, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Aria is glued to “The Stone that Sings” downstairs. I’d say we have at least half an hour before our little darling disturbs us.”

Kathryn smiled and put down her coffee. “Then we better not waste time.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Grinning, he pulled back the bed covers, making the colours from the window dance over the bed as he tugged at the soft satin of her nightdress. He had the fine fingers of a craftsman and broad shoulders from hauling wood around his workshop. It's how they’d met. She’d wanted bespoke furniture and he’d stole her heart.

He kissed her neck, exploring the dip of her throat. The light streaming through the window painted his skin with glorious reds, blues and yellows. A harmony of colour.  

Kathryn sighed. “Have I told you lately that I love you?”

“Every day. But I'm always happy to hear it again.”

#

Kathryn lay in his arms. She was still soaring, consumed by sensations she couldn't describe. “That was…”

He gazed at her as if he felt it too, his eyes wrinkling into smile. “Like the first time?”

“Yes. I know that's crazy. I mean our honeymoon in Paris. And before that… when I was a student.”

“Your father's garage…”

She swatted him. “Oh, don't. I couldn't look him in the eye for weeks.”

“I know what you mean, though,” he said softly. “That felt different, somehow. New.”

“Hmmm, well I'm not certainly complaining.”

The door creaked open and tiny footsteps pitter-pattered across the bedroom floor. “Mommy?” The little girl's long hair was full of tight curls, dark like her daddy's, but her eyes were brilliant blue.

Kathryn rolled over to face her daughter, pulling the sheets close to her chest to hide her nudity. “What is it, sweetie?”

“I'm hungry.”

“Tell you what. Why don't you go put your daytime clothes on, and we'll cook us all breakfast.”

Aria stared back solemnly. “Only if it's pancakes.”

“Deal.”

Aria trotted away. Kathryn felt a gentle chuckle beside her. “That was the royal we, wasn't it?”

Kathryn turned over in her bed. “And that, Chakotay, is one of the many reasons why I love you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Chakotay's perfect family life comes under threat.

“Daddy is the best cook,” Aria announced, as she directed her full concentration to drizzling syrup on her pancakes.

Kathryn eased the bottle from her hands. “Better go easy on that. You have more syrup than pancake.”

“Can we go to Archer Park today?” the little girl asked.

“Sounds nice,” Chakotay wiped his hands on his cooking apron before sitting down. “We could take a picnic.” 

Then they were walking side by side, each holding one of Aira’s hands. 

“I can jump!” They propelled Aria between them, letting her make huge leaps. When the park came into sight, Aria ran towards the play equipment and disappeared inside a boat, with ladders and slides and a real pirate flag flapping in the breeze.     

The sky was as blue as Kathryn had ever seen it and the summer air warm. This town, this place just oozed contentment. She couldn't remember ever feeling so happy. “She loves it here.”

Chakotay smiled, putting his arm around her shoulder. “I know the feeling.” 

They followed Aria to the play equipment. Chakotay ran his hands over the pirate ship’s stern, admiring the workmanship, examining the wood for imperfections with his expert eye. 

“Don’t tell me. You could make something like this in your workshop?” Kathryn said.

“Well, a scaled down version, obviously.” His hand stopped on the ship’s name. “I never noticed this ship’s name before, did you?”

Kathryn ran a finger over the carved white letters. “ _ Voyager _ . Can’t say I have. Is it significant?”

“I don’t know. I just— ”

Aria appeared at the top of the slide. “Look at me, Mommy!” She launched herself down at a rate of knots.

“Be careful!” Kathryn deftly grabbed her daughter before she flew off the end of the slide. 

The little girl was on her feet in moments and grabbed Chakotay’s hand, dragging him away from the boat. “Swings, Daddy, swings!”

Chakotay laughed and let her take him on the next adventure.

#

Kathryn lay under a tree on a picnic blanket, Chakotay at her side, watching her daughter run and laugh with a gaggle of other children.

“I think moving to Stonebridge was one of the best decisions we ever made,” Kathryn said, glancing at Chakotay. He was beautiful in the sunlight, his face serene and calm. She’d always thought so, but today it seemed a more fundamental truth than ever. It felt like she needed to grasp the importance of this moment and hold onto it forever. 

“You're just saying that because everyone here loves you so much they elected you Mayor by a landslide.”

Kathryn laughed, but when she glanced back towards the children, a woman she didn’t recognise was talking to Aria. “Is that one of the other children’s mothers?”

“I don’t know.” 

The woman wore the strangest clothes Kathryn had ever seen. A black jumpsuit with mustard coloured top panel. She crouched in front of Aria. 

Aria shook her head and the woman grabbed her little arm. Aria tried to pull away. 

Kathryn leapt to her feet and ran. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The woman turned towards her. Her forehead was covered in ridges. Her mouth moved, but there was no sound. 

“Get away from my daughter!” Kathryn scoped Aria up, and in that moment the woman vanished.

“Where did she go?” Chakotay said, bewildered.

Kathryn held her daughter close, her heart pounding. The little girl shook.

Chakotay rubbed Aria’s back to sooth her sobs. “Honey, what did she say to you?”

“She wanted to take me away from you. I don’t want her to, Daddy.” Aria’s little body convulsed as she cried. Chakotay put his arms around them both.

“We’re not going to let anyone take you, not ever,” he promised.

“We should contact the police.” Kathryn said. 

“Do you think it’s political?”

“I don’t know,” she said darkly. “But no one threatens my family.”

#

Kathryn put the phone down. “The police will keep an eye on things until we can get to the bottom of this.” 

Chakotay poured them both a glass of Saint Emilion and then set the bottle down. “That woman. I keep trying to place her. Are you sure you haven't seen her before? At a town meeting, perhaps?”

Kathryn shook her head. “I'd remember a face like that. Perhaps she's a customer?”

“Maybe.” 

The evening sun poured through the kitchen window, hitting the wine glass and scattering a rainbow of light across the counter. Kathryn let her finger drift through the refracted light, almost hypnotised. She didn't know what was going on, but but a line had been crossed. While there was breath in her body nothing and no one would harm her family.  

#

“Hmm, that smells delicious,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay threw some seasoning in the pan. “Vegetable teriyaki.”

“My favourite.” She kissed his cheek as she passed and poured them both a glass of red wine, before swinging herself up onto a kitchen stool to watch him cook. She loved to watch him work, in the kitchen or his workshop. He was diligent and skilled. And incredibly _hot_.  

As the stove sizzled Chakotay said, “Something odd happened at the shop today. A customer came in. At least I thought he was a customer, now I'm not so sure.”

Kathryn set her glass down on the counter. “Oh?”

“He was under the impression we’d served together in the military. That I was his commander. I think maybe he had some kind of psychiatric problem. Anyway, the phone went and when I came back he was gone. The strangest thing, though, he was dressed just like the woman from the park.”

“What did he look like?”

“Young. Dark hair. Asian.”

Kathryn frowned. Two incidents in two days? That had to be more than a coincidence. What the hell was going on?

She stiffened as she heard a gentle sob from upstairs. “Do you hear that?”

“Aria.” 

They both hurried to her bedroom. She was crying, holding her stuffed bear close to her chest.

Chakotay sat on the edge of her bed. “What's wrong?”

Aria sniffed. “I like it best when we're all together.”

“We like that too, sweetheart. Mommy and Daddy have to go to work, but one of us will always be here to take care of you.”  

Her blue eyes seemed more piercing than ever. “I feel safe when you're  _ both _ here.” 

#

Chakotay took a call before breakfast. “Damn it!”

“What's wrong?”

“There's been some kind of toxic spill on Hamilton Avenue. All the retail units on the block are quarantined. It’ll be the best part of a week before anyone's allowed back in.”

“Well then, it looks like Aria is going to get her wish.” 

“What?” 

“Both of us, home together.” 

Chakotay’s forehead creased into a knot. 

That night, Chakotay lay in their bed, staring at the ceiling. “Kathryn, does anything feel off, to you?”

“What do you mean?” She got into bed beside him, finding the spot she liked to curl herself into; her leg wrapped between his, his arm around her, her head on his chest listening to his heart beat.  

“I can't put my finger on it, but something doesn’t feel right.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“I wish I knew.”

Kathryn laid her hand across his belly. “Things feel pretty perfect to me.”

He pulled her close. “Yes, they do. But at the same time there’s something…”

“It's connected to those people, isn't it?” She'd never seen him this uneasy, and it made her uneasy too.  

He sighed. “I think so.”

Kathryn couldn't figure it out either. But she knew one thing deep in her bones: this family meant everything to her. 

#

Kathryn rushed through the front door and locked it behind her, panic coursing through her body. “Where’s Aria?” 

“Upstairs. She's building a spaceship from Lego bricks. It’s quite impressive.” He stared at her with worried eyes. “Are you all right?”

“I think someone followed me back from the Town Hall.” Kathryn stood against the wall out of sight while she looked out of the window, her heart still thundering. “Damn it!” 

Chakotay peered over her shoulder and cursed too.

Two strangers were walking towards the door, wearing identical clothes, but one had dark skin. Both with some kind of strange weapon drawn.

Kathryn still clutched her car keys. “Let’s get Aria.”

As they raced upstairs, a whoosh of energy sounded behind them and the smell of burning wood hit her nose. Kathryn’s heart lurched and nausea threatened to take her. 

“Aria?” she called, her throat tight. 

“I'm in here, Mommy,” Aria replied from her bedroom. 

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay and opened the door.

Aria was sitting on the floor. In her hands she held a half-made spaceship, with a high dome at the top.

Footsteps on the stairs. 

“Chakotay, pull the chest of draws across the door.”

Kathryn flung open the window and looked at the kitchen roof below. It was steep, and would be difficult with Aria, but what choice did they have? 

Banging on the door. “We mean you no harm, but it is imperative that we communicate with you.”

Kathryn scoffed and put one leg over the window sill onto the tiled roof. It was inclined, but not impossible to walk across. She could do it.

“Aria, we're going to play a game. Can you climb out here with Mommy?” 

“I'm scared,” the little girl said.

Chakotay picked her up. “Don't worry. We’ll keep you safe.” He passed her to Kathryn.

The door began to burn orange. 

“Go. I'll hold them off,” Chakotay said, looking over his shoulder. 

Kathryn grabbed his arm. “No, come with us!”

“I’ll be right behind you. Protect our daughter.”

“Daddy!” 

Kathryn hated it, but she knew he was right. She kissed him once, and with Aria in her arms carefully picked her way over the the roof. She heard shouting and a struggle from above, and tried to ignore the hole it punched in her heart. 

They reached the edge of the roof. Kathryn put Aria down. “Sit here. I’m going to jump first. Then you are going to jump too. I’ll catch you.” 

The little girl shook her head, her eyes full of terror. “Don't leave me!”

Kathryn squatted and took Aria's hand. “Listen to me. Mommies don't leave their children. I just have to get down there first so I can catch you. I need you to be brave.”  

Aria nodded and Kathryn leapt from the roof, landing in a crouch, one hand to the ground. When did she become so fearless? This wasn’t how her perfect life was supposed to be.

She turned her arms up to Aria. “Now, sweetheart. You can do it.”

Aria shook her head. “It’s too far.”

“I know it looks like a long way. But Mommy will catch you. I won’t let you fall.”

Aria nodded. She jumped.

#

Rage swelled in Chakotay’s chest. These people were in his home. He wasn’t a violent man, but threaten his family and all bets were off.  

He grabbed Aria’s bedside lamp and stood to the left. An orange glow carved a hole first in the wooden door, and then disintegrated the chest of drawers. 

Someone stepped through with their weapon drawn. The man who had visited him in the shop. Chakotay slammed the lamp’s base into his head. The young man crumpled to the floor, but in that moment, a second man was somehow beside him.

“Apologies, Commander.” 

Pressure on his neck. Chakotay blacked out. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chakotay discovers the truth about the strange life he and Kathryn have been living. Now he has to rescue Kathryn. But does she want to be rescued? Does he?

Chakotay's head throbbed. He tried to open his eyes, but a painful kaleidoscope of colour dazzled him. As his vision slowly cleared he saw a stained glass dome high above, lit from behind with what could have been an artificial sun.

“Where am I?”

The Doctor’s hand weighed on his shoulder. “Don’t try to move, Commander. You are connected to a complex neural interface.”

Chakotay groaned. He turned his head, just slightly, for the restriction of electrodes and wires tugged at his temple. He was on some kind of biobed. Kathryn lay on a bed next to him, hooked up in the same way. Between them a globe on a pedestal pulsed with many colours.

“Kathryn?”

“The captain remains trapped inside the neural matrix.”

He squinted at the orb. “What is it?”

“According to this ship’s database, it is called an Artificial Resonant Intelligent Architecture. In essence, an Artificial Intelligence existing inside a neural mainframe, not unlike our holodecks.”

Chakotay stared at the doctor. Was it possible that the world he and Kathryn had lived in had been nothing more than a computer generated dream? It had seemed utterly real, every detail as compelling as his real life here on _Voyager_. Some of it, more so if he was honest.

“Artificial Resonant Intelligent Architecture,” he said, feeling the shape of the words on his tongue and making them into a name. His daughter’s name. “You mean _Aria_?”

The doctor frowned. “Yes, I suppose.”

“But she’s a child. That doesn't make any sense,” he said, his voice flat with disbelief. How could the baby he’d rocked to sleep so many nights be an AI?

Seven of Nine stepped closer to the architecture, but didn’t touch the swirling colours on the curved surface. “We found this ship drifting in space. No crew, apparently abandoned. The Architecture scanned all _Voyager_ personnel and then transported yourself and the captain aboard. That was two hours ago.”

“Two hours? It felt like years.” It was astonishing. A perfect life played out in glorious detail. Home, family, Kathryn. _Kathryn._

“An effect of the neural matrix. At first we thought that the alien device had selected you as the highest ranking officers aboard and taken you as hostages. However, as we analysed the scan, we realised that you were selected as an emotionally compatible couple with personal qualities the architecture deemed suited to the task of raising the AI. In effect, Aria chose you as her parents.”

Chakotay almost choked.

“Commander, in order for us to extract the captain, you must tell us exactly what you experienced in there,” Tuvok said.

Ignoring Tuvok, Chakotay turned to the Doctor. “Put me back in.”

“Inadvisable,” said Tuvok. “We should send an away team equipped with as much information as possible, and at the same time continue our attempts to access the architecture’s main data core.”

“No. We’re not ripping Kathryn out of there by force.”  

“I agree with Commander Tuvok,” the doctor said. “Reentering alone is too risky. You might easily become trapped again.”

Chakotay shook his head. “Keep trying to access the AI, and shut it down if you can, without harming it. But I go back in alone.” In that world, for a shining moment Kathryn was his wife, the mother of his child, and he was damned if he was going to let anyone else poke around in those memories.    

#

Chakotay stood in his kitchen. Two wine glasses sat on the counter next to a small vase of three red tulips. He gripped the work surface to keep from falling as the enormity of the situation hit him. Everything here had felt as vivid to him as his life on _Voyager_ did now. He and Kathryn had lived here together for years. A life so rich in detail it seemed impossible to imagine it hadn’t happened. He remembered their first meeting in the shop. The shy first date, and how quickly their attraction turned to fiery passion. He remembered their wedding day. Damn it, he remembered making love to her last Sunday morning while Aria was down stairs watching The Stone that Sings. Kathryn had been so relaxed, so deeply happy, letting go in a way he’d never seen on _Voyager._  They loved each other and they loved Aria. How could he ask Kathryn to give this life up? How could he expect it of himself?

His phone rang.

“Chakotay?” her voice was cracked, as if she feared the worst.

“It’s all right. I’m fine.”

“Thank god. We’re at a hotel just outside town, The Harmony. Room three. Can you come?”

“I’ll be right there. Hang on, Kathryn.” He started his truck with shaking hands. The layers of complexity in this matrix were staggering.

How could he explain this? How could he convince Kathryn to leave, when that was the last thing he truly wanted? It would be so easy to forget _Voyager_ and live in this beautiful fantasy.  

But that isn't what Kathryn would want.  

Chakotay knocked lightly on the hotel room’s door, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he had to tear her away.

“Chakotay?”

“It’s me.”

Kathryn opened the door, and as he stepped through she flung her arms around him. “Thank god you’re safe. How did you get away?”

He held her close, burying his face in her hair, just breathing her in. He didn't ever want to let go.

“Chakotay, what is it?” Kathryn’s voice was tight. Behind her, Aria sat on the bed, her eyes wide and innocent. It was hard to believe this child was capable of creating this world, harder still to accept she was effectively holding them prisoner.

 _A gilded cage is still a cage._  

“Daddy?”

Reluctantly he let Kathryn go and crouched in front of Aira. “You need to let us leave. If you’re damaged in some way, we can help. But it’s wrong to keep us here.”

“Chakotay?” Kathryn moved close to him and Aria.

He stood up. “Kathryn, I know it might be hard to believe, but this isn’t real.”

“What are you talking about?”

Aria solemnly took first Chakotay's hand and then Kathryn’s. “I _am_ real. You love each other and you love me. We’re a family.”

Chakotay’s head was full of colours. This was a life he could only dream of, everything he wanted and more. He’d be a fool to leave it behind and go back to a life where duty, discipline and protocol kept he and Kathryn apart.  

Kathryn was the love of his life.

He’d known that since the first moment she walked into his shop, with her fiery red hair and devastating smile. This was _right_. He was a successful craftsman and Kathryn was the Mayor of Stonebrige. They had a child together. They drank coffee in bed on Sunday mornings and made love in the shards of light scattered through their window.

His head pulsed.

The _lights_. The glass dome over the biobeds.

He let Aria’s hand drop. “As much as I’d love this to be real, it’s just not. These are not our lives.”

“But it could be! It _should_ be. We can all be happy! I chose you because I saw into your hearts!”

“Chakotay, what’s going on?” Kathryn demanded, her face pale.

The whole world seemed to flicker and distort. A bright light bathed Aria for a second.

“Stop it!” Aria looked fearfully around the room, as if she could see something he and Kathryn couldn’t. “I don’t want to go to sleep. I'll be all alone again!”

“Lay down,” Chakotay said softly. “I promise our people will help you. But you have to lay quietly right now.” He stroked her forehead gently, just the way he had when she was a baby to soothe her to sleep.

Her eyes became heavy.

“Hush. Lay down now,” he said.

Aria curled up on the bed. “Mommy?” she murmured before her eyes closed. “You promised you'd never let me go.”

Kathryn moved towards her. Chakotay grabbed her arm. “Kathryn, please trust me. Let her sleep. I’ll explain everything.”

#

“Let me get this straight,” Kathryn said, her eyes stony. “You want me to believe we _haven’t_ been married for the last twelve years, our daughter is some kind of AI, and we’re lost in space trying to get home? That sounds like the plot from some god-awful TV show!”

“I know how it sounds. But you’re not Kathryn Janeway.” He tugged his ear. “Well, actually you’re a lot like her. But this is not her life.”

“No, according to you, I’m the Captain of a spaceship.” Sarcasm dripped from her words.

“ _Star_ ship. The Federation Starship _Voyager_.” He needed her to reconnect with their real lives, but at the moment he was failing miserably.

“Oh, stop it,” she said dismissively. “This isn’t like you, Chakotay. Why are you saying these things?”

“Because they’re true.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you having an affair? Is this some warped way to escape our marriage, because if it is, at least do me the courtesy of being honest.”

“No! Of course not. There’s no one else. They’re hasn’t been for a very long time. But Kathryn, please think back. These people we’ve seen. In the park. That was B'Elanna trying to access A.R.I.A. And chasing us at the house? Harry and Tuvok. Right now we’re both in an alien ship hooked up to a neural matrix.” He took her hand. “Please Kathryn. You have to remember.”  

Kathryn sat heavily on the bed. “Just say for a moment that I don’t think you’re crazy. Who is this Captain Janeway?”

“She's brilliant. Single minded. She never quits.”

“But she managed to get her ship lost?”  

Her biting sarcasm wasn’t lost on him, but he didn’t know how to respond. He was defending Kathryn Janeway to Kathryn Janeway. Not an easy task.  

He scratched his head. “That happened, yes. She made a choice to save an alien race. As a consequence, we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. We’ve been trying to get home ever since.”

Kathryn studied his face closely. “You're married to her? In this other life?”

“No. She's not married. She's the captain. I’m her first officer. We have a professional relationship. She has to keep her distance.” He laughed nervously. “To be honest, it's a little complicated.”

“Pfft. I don't like her. She sounds lonely.” Kathryn sniffed and folded her arms. “And it sounds like you care about her than me.”

“No, it’s not like that at all.” He sighed. “This is confusing. In my heart, I’ve had no doubts you’re my wife and I love you. I can remember our honeymoon. And the day Aria was born. But I also know there’s another life we have to get back to.”

She turned her head away.

“Please try to remember, Kathryn. You took command of _Voyager_ over four years ago. You brought us together, Starfleet and Marquis, and set a course home. You got us through Borg space on determination and caffeine. We’ve defeated threat after threat with you in command.”

Kathryn stood up and shook her head, as if she was trying to keep the memories out. “You want me to leave Aria and go back to being _her?_ She’s made of hard edges. She’s isolated.”

“She’s also kind and compassionate. Captain, your crew needs you.”

“What about you? What do you need?”

“I'll always stand by your side, Kathryn, in whatever way you'll let me.”

Kathryn crouched by the bed and stroked Aria's cheek. She turned back to Chakotay with tears brimming in her eyes. “I love you, and our daughter. I love our _life_. You want to give that up? To go back to being that woman, all alone and so far from home?” Her eyes welled with tears, and that broke him.

“I don't want to lose you, either.” He folded her into a hug, letting his chest absorb her sobs while he hid his own tears. “But you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone.”

Her voice sounded small. “If we leave, will we remember our lives here?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know people there depend on us. Our ship. Our crew. Real people in the real world. _They’re_ our family.”

Kathryn stayed silent for a long time, and then she pulled back from him, her eyes empty.

“I know,” she whispered. “I remember. But this was a fantastic dream while it lasted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story grew a bit and now has another chapter to come, which I hope to post at the weekend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Chakotay have to cope with the emotional fallout from their experiences. 
> 
> "I remember walking along the river Seine, hand in hand. Having dinner at the Moulin Rouge. Making love to you in a chink of moonlight because we hadn't completely closed the curtains in the hotel room window.”
> 
> “You offered to get up and shut them,” she said softly.
> 
> “But you said it was more romantic that way.”

Kathryn woke. Light played behind her eyelids and her face was wet with tears. Her heart felt heavy. If she didn’t open her eyes, then maybe she could hang onto that perfect life.

“Captain?” The doctor’s voice broke through her silent longing and dragged her into the real world. She opened her eyes.

Above her was a magnificent coloured glass ceiling, like the dome of a cathedral. Chakotay lay beside her.

She sat up. “Take it steady, Captain,” said the doctor.

“Chakotay?”

“He’s fine, just resting. You were much more deeply connected to the matrix. I need to get you to sickbay to fully assess the damage to your neural pathways.”

“What about Aria?”

B'Elanna said, “I’ve quarantined the AI into a recursive subroutine for now, and disconnected it from the ship’s systems.”

“So she poses no threat?”

B’Elanna glanced at Harry. “She?”  

Kathryn shook her head and raised her hand. “Learn as much as you can about the system, but do nothing except contain her for now.” She glanced at the doctor. “Apparently, I’ll be in sick bay.”

“Aye, Captain.”

#

Chakotay hovered at Kathryn’s bedside. The doctor had cleared him an hour ago, but Kathryn was still unconscious.

“I've had to repair several hundred synaptic pathways. She'll be fine, but I want to keep her sedated for another hour.”

“Will she remember what happened in there?”

“Unclear.” The doctor squinted. “What _did_ happen?”

Chakotay was in no mood to explain. “Notify me the moment she wakes up.”

Chakotay strode to engineering. He wanted to know everything they had learned about Aria. His daughter, yet not his daughter. But he remembered the day she was born; Kathryn red-faced and hollering, the way he felt when he held her the first time. Her first tooth. Her first steps. He remembered it all. Years in his memory painted so vividly it hurt.

And Kathryn. Political science major. Activist. Fond of red wine, skiing, and sneaking out of her parent’s house late at night to meet him in her father's garage. The woman he’d made love to in the fractured light and who couldn't cook to save her life. Kathryn but not Kathryn. None of it had been real.

“Report, B'Elanna. What do we know about the alien vessel?”

“Not much. We don't know what happened to the crew. It seems the AI, “Aria” as you call her, had been deactivated, but the system purge missed a few engramatic traces. From there, it started to regenerate and evolve. It was essentially growing up alone.”

“She wanted someone to care for her.”

“That's right.”

“Is she sentient?”

“I think you and the captain are better placed to answer that than me. You're her parents, after all.” B'Elanna couldn't hide a sly smile.

“I suppose we are.” That idea should probably feel stranger than it did, but he _felt_ like her father, despite what he rationally knew to be true.   

“Did you hear what Seven said? About you and the captain being chosen because you're emotionally compatible?”

He tugged his ear. “I want a full range of options for giving Aria what she needs. Short of sending the captain and I back in, of course.” He turned and stalked out of engineering.

#

“Commander, you asked me to notify you when the captain woke up?”

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“Well, I'd prefer it if she'd stay in sickbay a short while longer, but she appears to be leaving… and yes, she's left.”

Chakotay sighed. That didn't bode well. Kathryn hadn't contacted him and now she was chasing off to who knows where. The bridge? Engineering? How much of their time with Aria did she even remember? He didn't know what would be worse, if she remembered every moment or nothing at all. He guessed she would head to the bridge, but when he arrived she wasn’t there.

“Computer. Locate Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is in engineering.”

Chakotay sighed and turned on his heels.

Kathryn glanced around as he entered. “Ah, Commander, good.” Her voice held a note of forced formality that made his heart sink. “You've had Lieutenant Torres working on a few ideas to help our friend over there.”

“Yes, I thought—”

Kathryn kept her eyes carefully away from his face. “B'Elanna tells me she can use the engramatic traces still in the system to recreate holograms of you and I. To give the AI what it wanted all along.”

“Holograms with our memories?” he couldn't keep a note of shock from his voice.

“Well, the manufactured memories. To all intents and purposes it will seem to the AI that we’re still there. Do you have any objections?”

He stood up straighter. “Not if you think it's for the best. Aria will have company and guidance as she develops and grows.”

“Then it's settled,” Kathryn went on. “B'Elanna, let me know if you run into any problems.”

Chakotay blinked at Kathryn. She was full captain, focused on an engineering and ethical dilemma involving an alien life form. The fact that it involved years of their life together seemed not to register with her at all. How could she remain so detached? He felt like he might never see Kathryn again.

As she turned to leave, though, the tension in her shoulders gave her away. She glanced back at him. “Walk with me, Commander?”

He inclined his head to acknowledge her request.

They were not alone in the turbo lift, and they both remained staring ahead. They walked through the corridors in a heavy silence, her back ramrod straight, his eyes always in front. Twelve years that she either didn't remember or didn't want to remember. He felt like a man about to be crushed.

Kathryn stopped outside her quarters. Her voice was low. “You had better come in.”

The world became discordant, a symphony of crashing and blaring in his ears. His heart was so heavy he could hardly look at her. He wanted nothing more than to disappear and lick his wounds, but he couldn't run away from this any more than she could.

She opened her door. As it closed, her back seemed to bow, her stride weaken, layers of calm stripped away until there was nothing left but raw pain.

She put her hand against the bulkhead. “Chakotay,” she whispered.

He stepped closer, unsure what she needed from him.

“She was our daughter. Aria, our beautiful girl.”

“Yes, she was,” he whispered.

“How could we have crammed a whole lifetime into two short hours?”

“You remember?” He moved closer, wanting nothing more than to hold her, but he couldn't take the last step.

“Everything,” she said hoarsely. “I know it wasn't real. But I remember everything. Meeting you at university. The day you proposed to me.”

His heart dared to lift. “As I recall, you said no twice.”

“You didn't give up.” She looked at him, her eyes asking a question, as if she was begging him not to give up now, because she didn't have the strength to cross the line herself.

He _wanted_ to cross that line more than anything, yet he was trapped like a dust mote in the eye of a storm.

He swallowed hard and inched towards her. “You know why she chose us, out of everyone on board?”

“I assume because we have traits she thought suited her needs.”

“That's one way to put it, I suppose. But I think it was because we’re compatible. Because we’re _meant_ to be together. If this experience tells us anything, it should tell us that.”

“But we're not those people, Chakotay. Look at us. We're not a craftsman and a politician. We don't have that perfect life. We can’t. Not here on _Voyager._ ”

“I'm not saying it would be easy, Kathryn. Don’t we owe it to ourselves to try?”

“I don't even know what to tell you,” she said, placing a hand wearily on his chest as she moved past him.  She sat on her bed, shaking her head. “But I do know we have to fix things for Aria.”

The torment in her eyes matched his own. He had to do what he always did. Make it easy for her. Carry her burdens and let them slip back between those damn parameters that kept them apart.

“Then don't tell me anything right now,” he said, his voice soft. “Let’s both get some rest. We can come up with a way to help Aria in the morning.” He turned to leave, his heart like stone. He paused with his hand on the bulkhead by the door. What was he doing? Giving up without a fight? When he turned back, she was staring at him. He _couldn’t_   just let her go like this.

He took a deep breath. “Eat dinner with me tomorrow night?”

She allowed herself a brief smile. “Your famous vegetable teriyaki?”

He smiled. “I only hope I can still cook it as well in the real world.”

#

When Chakotay left, Kathryn bathed and then sank into her bed. The memories of Stonebridge were too real, too vivid and the doctor hadn’t known if they would fade over time. She closed her eyes, hoping to block the visions out but all she saw was Chakotay and Aria, running together in Archer Park.

Aria had obviously tapped into some pretty deep-seated desires. Kathryn had always thought she’d be a mother one day. If she was honest there were days when she felt like the mother of the whole crew. Well, maybe not the _whole_ crew. There was nothing motherly about the way she felt about Chakotay right now. How could they go back to being captain and commander after twelve passionate years? She groaned and tried to shut those memories out. They were torturing her.   

She fell into a restless sleep

_The first time he proposed they were in her father’s garage, kissing. She was nineteen and told him he was a crazy fool._

_The second time, she was twenty three, and they were a long way from home, hiking through the Appalachian Mountains. She told him she loved him but asked him to wait._

_The third time he proposed, he brought her a single rose._

_She said yes._

_A wedding dress. Flowers and confetti in the air._

_Their first home; a small flat in the city. He built their furniture and she worked for the Department of Scientific and Technical Advancement. She came home in the evenings to find him cooking._

_She stood in the garden of their home in Stonebridge, a toddler wiggling in her arms. Chakotay was filling a small paddling pool with water. Aria squealed in delight as the hose pipe made a rainbow of the water droplets._

Kathryn started awake.

She rolled over, expecting to find Chakotay’s warm presence. Of course he wasn’t there. _Not her husband. Not her life._ She’d never felt so empty.

#

Kathryn spent the morning with B'Elanna in engineering, going over the finer points of the holographic simulations. Aria’s world was already infinitely complex and rich. The community of Stonebridge had streets and shops and schools, a hospital and a library. Aria had friends, Chakotay had a business and Kathryn Janeway had the town to run. The sort of life they would never have. It was beautiful and painful to watch.   

“There. I’ve downloaded the holomatrix and the memories,” B'Elanna said. “Those holograms will think they’re really Aria’s parents. But Captain… won't you and Chakotay find it a little odd leaving copies of yourself here?”

“Perhaps. But Aria needs guardians. At least this way I'll know she'll never be alone.”

B'Elanna put her hand briefly to her own belly, looking a little shy. “What was it like, having a child?”

Kathryn squinted at her. “Something you want to tell me, Lieutenant?”

“No, Captain. Not yet, anyway.” She smiled nervously.

Kathryn worked hard to maintain a neutral face, but she couldn't do it. She squeezed B'Elanna’s arm, and said quietly, “It was the most rewarding experience of my life.”  

Then she straightened up and hit her communicator. “Janeway to Chakotay. Report to transporter room two.”

“Aye, Captain.”

#

Chakotay and Kathryn stood under the stained glass dome, quietly, side by side, as if they were in a sacred space. The coloured sphere between the biobeds pulsed softly while B’Elanna integrated the Federation technology into the AI’s architecture.

“Is the matrix stable?” Kathryn asked B'Elanna, her voice low.

“Yes, Captain. I just need to add the holograms.”

Chakotay asked softly, “Will they love her?”

“They’ll love her just as much as you did. They won’t even know they’re holograms.”

Kathryn closed her eyes. She desperately wanted to see Aria again, to hold the little girl in her arms. To watch her run and laugh and pour too much syrup over her pancakes. It became a physical burn in her chest. Without thinking she sought the comfort of Chakotay’s hand. Her fingers slipping between his in a way that felt shockingly familiar. This is what she did when she needed his quiet strength. The way they communicated without words, a silent language of touch that said ‘I'm here. I love you and I'll stand by your side.’

“Our little girl,” he whispered, his eyes full of pain. He was hurting every bit as much as she was. “I'll miss her.”

They looked at each other for a long time. Every second they had shared in the architecture was seared in Kathryn's memory. A precious gift. But one they had to let go.

“Ready?” Kathryn finally asked him.

He nodded, his eyes sadder than she'd ever seen them.

She turned to her chief engineer, her voice a broken whisper. “Go ahead, B’Elanna.”

B'Elanna activated the holograms.

#

Inside the architecture, the sunset over Stonebridge painted the sky brilliant orange. The air was deliciously warm on Kathryn’s back. Chakotay held her hand.

“Where is she? She should be here,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay pointed. “There she is.”

Aria ran towards them, her dark curly hair bobbing wildly, her eyes the bluest blue Kathryn had ever seen.

Aria flung her arms wide. “I knew. I knew you'd come back!”

Kathryn scooped her daughter up, twirled her around and kissed her cheek. Chakotay put his arms around them both.

“I told you,” Kathryn said, smiling, her heart glowing. “Mommies never, ever let their children go.”

#

The day aboard _Voyager_ passed slowly, and by the time Alpha shift ended they were half a light year away from Aria. Kathryn had spent much of the shift in her ready room, with the lights turned low. She'd felt bereft when she woke alone this morning, and since coming back from the alien ship a hollowness had settled in her chest that she just couldn't shift. Somehow remembering a life she never had—could never have—seemed like the cruelest of tricks. Perhaps these memories would fade, but every time she looked at Chakotay she saw Aria’s smile. Worse, she saw a man she’d loved deeply but could no longer have. It made her heart ache and her blood boil at the unfairness of it all.

This self-indulgent brooding would drive her crazy. It had to stop.

Chakotay had already left the bridge by the time she emerged. She'd promised they would eat together. They would have to deal with this sometime. She'd never been one to put dealing with a problem off, and right now these feelings raging inside her were a definite problem. She strode to his room to make a clean break. It was the only thing to do. And yet, even as she walked she remembered. She'd woken next to him almost every morning for the past twelve years, and that felt just as real as the last four years on _Voyager_.

She paused before she chimed Chakotay’s door. Everything felt odd. When did she have to chime her own husband's door? _He's not your husband. You're not his wife. That was all a fantasy._

She squared her shoulders. They would simply have to find ways to adjust.

When she entered, the room smelled delicious. Something was sizzling in a real cooking pan.

“You haven't forgotten how to cook.”

“Hasn't been much call for it since New Earth, but I'd like to change that.”

She looked at him askance. It had been an unwritten rule never to mention New Earth, where the lines between them had become so blurred. She'd say it was an oversight, but he wasn't a careless man. He knew exactly what he was doing.

She picked up the bottle of wine he'd replicated. Saint Emilion, 2355.

She sat down at the table. Three tulips in a small vase, just like on the counter in their kitchen. “Chakotay, if I didn't know better, I'd say you had an agenda.”

He looked up. “I do.”

His forthright answer shocked her a little, and sent her grasping for a safer topic. “ B'Elanna did a good job with the matrix. I think Aria will be fine now. She has everything she needs to flourish.”

He turned the heat off from under the pan. “She always seemed happy, didn't she?”

“She had your smile.”

“She had your flair for command,” he said, as he spooned teriyaki onto their plates. “Do you remember what her nursery teacher said? Aria was organising all the other children by her second day.”

He put the plates on the table and poured Kathryn a glass of wine. “Remember Paris?” he said, his voice a little lower.

She waved an arm. “We were never in Paris and we both know it.”

“Do we? I remember walking along the river Seine, hand in hand. Having dinner at the Moulin Rouge. Making love to you in a chink of moonlight because we hadn't completely closed the curtains in the hotel room window.”

“You offered to get up and shut them,” she said softly.

“But you said it was more romantic that way.”  

Her breath caught in her throat. “I remember.” She remembered everything and it shone in her memory so brightly it burned. How could she move past this when every fibre of her being wanted that life to be real?  

“That's just it, Kathryn. I don't want to remember that life with you. I want to live it. Here on _Voyager_ , the best way we can.” He stood in front of her, his eyes searing her heart, the memory of a hundred kisses tingling her lips.

“Oh, Chakotay,” she murmured. “How can I stop loving you?”

“I don’t want you to stop. And I don’t think you want to stop either.” He took her hand and eased her out of her chair, his dark eyes burning. “You’re my captain, that hasn't changed.” He raised her hand to his heart. “But in here,” he whispered, “you're my wife.”

He kissed her before she could deny the truth. In twelve years of marriage there was no part of her he hadn't kissed, no secret they hadn't shared. Her whole body tingled in anticipation of his touch. He had been everything to her and he could be again. She just had to let go of her fears and let him in.

When she kissed him back, it felt every bit as sweet as she remembered.

 

**Epilogue**

Kathryn woke slowly. The sun streamed through a gap in the curtains, the light scattering through a stained glass window to make a riff of colours on the fresh white sheets.

She rolled over to draw lazy lines with her finger on her husband's bare chest. “Hmm, did you choose this room because it had a stained-glass window?”

Chakotay laughed softly. “It's possible I called every hotel in Paris until I found one that did.”

Kathryn kissed his jaw. “Well it seems fitting for our honeymoon.”

“Since it took so long for you to actually say yes, I thought we might as well do it right.”

“Third time’s the charm, Chakotay,” she said playfully. “I couldn't marry you out there in the Delta Quadrant. We had to be discrete.”

He shook his head, smiling. “So cute that you think the crew never suspected we were sleeping together. People knew about what happened with Aria on that alien ship. Wouldn't have taken much to put two and two together after that.”

For a moment, a vivid memory of Aria swamped Kathryn’s senses. Their daughter. The child who stole their hearts and showed them how to love each other. Once that door had been opened there was no turning back. She'd always, always be grateful. And now, they were home, they were finally married, and they had everything they’d dreamed of.

Well, almost everything.

Kathryn moved her body over his, pressing her lips to the hollow of his throat. “There's just one more thing we need now,” she whispered.

He gripped her hips, his hands on her skin, helping her move against him. “You know I'm ready, Kathryn, whenever you are. Just say the word.”

She looked down at him, remembering a child with dark hair and striking blue eyes. “It's time,” she said, kissing him softly, smiling, her heart full of hope. “Let’s start a family.”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this story! Please let me know what you thing :)  
> Next up "Another Life" A sci-fi action adventure, with a healthy serving of Chakotay & Janeway romance. <3

**Author's Note:**

> This work isn't beta read. If anyone has spare time to look through the next two chapters, I'd be really grateful, and happy to beta a similar story in return.


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